My optimism is faltering, 2009 - not that great so far, i still see potential so I figure i'll give it a while longer before I start writing angry letters of complaint addressed to the universe.
I find that I am perpetually repeating myself and excusing myself with regards to not doing the things I planned to do. I didn't even make the sorry mistake of attempting to make any new years resolutions (at least not any spoken out loud) this year but if i did I would have surely broken them already. In short I have suddenly become aware that i have turned into a massive flakey flake. The worst kind of say-i'm-going-to-do-something-and-then-not-do-it flake, actually that's not the worst kind, the worst kind is say-i'm-going-to-do-something-and-know-that-i-have-NO-INTENTION-of-ever-actually-doing-that-thing type of flake, i'm never going to fall that low because technically thats out of flake territory and over into asshole territory, but its bad. I feel bad, I feel sort of guilty but more sort of disapointed with how this keeps happening and despite my best intentions, another day goes by and another list of things that I wanted to do never happened. well, big deal that happens everyday of my life anyway but just not this much. Sure, i'm being a little hard on myself, I kind of have 3 jobs and everytime i think i've figured out the ultimate time management plan or a brilliant way to free up a whole extra day for my creative work it turns out to be the worst idea ever, working three 8 hour shifts in 32 hours .... what was I thinking??! its like i'm slowly loosing rational thought whilst simultaneously trying to be super organised until I feel like my brain might explode. Well i'm over it now, time for a change,
All the extra time I've spent worrying over not doing things and all those lame extra emails delaying things ive been trying to do have been eating into my regular blogging routine, that combined with my blatant and desperate attempts at escapism equal out to zero recent posts for you my devoted followers (hi friends! hi family!) - but it doesn't mean i've not been on the internet: i've still managed to find the time for all my daily haunts, I know what all my friends are doing from their blogs/flickr/facebook usual stalking, i've even squeezed in some time to make a few comments here and there, i think i've added a few more bookmarks, maybe some new feeds, a few ebay purchases, watched countless episodes of neighbours, i've even starting watching privileged - which can only convey the level of my escapism attempt.. basically I do stuff, but its not always the stuff I want to be doing. I have folders full of amusing (largely wrestling related) screen shots which have been waiting to find home in a blog post, i think i might just make paint a massive mural right above my desk saying "DO SOMETHING ELSE"
well whatever, this really hasn't been that fun has it, I know what will cheer you up, how about we take a look at some of the gems that have missed out on getting posted ,, i'll let you make up what you thought I was going to write about them: